My Story. My Fat Suit.
Did you know that 50% of overweight or obese people suffer from some form of depression?
Did you know that 50% of those 50% have suffered some form of abuse in their lives?
Did you know that stares and remarks, nasty social media remarks, just add to their depression and self hate?
Do people ever stop to think that their comments are directed to a real person, who may have real problems, and that they are just adding to them?
Did you know that this person, the one that has had the hard judgment passed onto them, who is fat, overweight and depressed, would have more compassion, love and decency in their little finger, than most of the nasty people have in their entire life!
I wonder if they know how lucky they are that their life hasn’t followed the same path as it did them.
Do you know what it feels like to be overweight? Are you a depressed shadow of your former self? Are the people you know and love hurtful and cruel, as they make their ‘helpful’ comments? Do they drag you down further into the depths of deeper depression?
I know these feelings all too well. I have been wearing my fat suit for 36 years. Now that’s not to say that at times my fat suit has been a lighter one.
However, as I write this article it’s the biggest fat suit that I have ever worn. But as much grief and sadness my fat suit causes me, it also gives me as much comfort and protection from the outside world.
Now today I am a little older and wiser to the tricks of my protective brain. I know that due to me being terribly abused as a young child, I quickly learned that if you looked pretty and thin, had boobs and curves, boys and men pay you a lot of attention.
So protectively my brain said lets get unattractive! I found the fastest way to get those piercing eyes off you is to get fat, and when you are fat you travel through this world pretty much unnoticed.
For the most part of my life I have been on a diet…and guess what? I just keep getting fatter and fatter. If you are like me, the dieting will work for a short time, but it’s like fighting a battle with one arm tied behind your back.
I have recently discovered, through a long and painful journey of my own, that it all starts in the mind.
You have to fix what is going on in your head. I promise you that when you start working from the top down, then and only then, will you find yourself in the right place to start being a bit kinder to yourself and stop hiding behind ‘Your Fat Suit’.
Now I have been slowly plugging away at the demons in my mind…and will I ever outrun them? No.
I have however, started to realise the cause and effect, and everyday now is another day. I have started to be kinder to myself, and guess what? The weight is starting to fall away, with truly no exercise, and a few adjustments to my food. Plus, the kicker! Let me tell you, I am eating like a king!
Be kind to yourself,
Big Fat Dee
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